Security Abroad

Security abroad:

Author unknown,

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to
recent terrorist
activities and have raised their security level from
"Miffed" to
"Peeved."

Some, though, say that security levels may be raised
yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."
Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz
in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists
have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody
Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody
Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of
1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that
it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to
"Hide." The only two higher levels in France are
"Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's
white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a
heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the
alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels
remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing
Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels:
"Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as
usual, and the only threat they are worried about is
NATO pulling out of Brussels ..

The Spanish are all excited to see their new
submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed
subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can
get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

And that is all the Inteligence News for Today.

Be well and ever alert --ever wonder what alert looks
like?